09.00 a.m. – Got quite a lot to do today; Anxiety management group at 2.00pm and going to see my Mind advocate at 4.00pm to print out my letters to my creditors.
The letter basically says I can’t pay anything and I can’t work at the moment, so leave me alone. I’ve also got a letter from the Community Mental Health Team confirming my current fragile state of mental health to send as well. At least if I get these letters off I have made a start in sorting my life out. I can’t hide here in the hostel for ever and these problems won’t go away.
I also need to contact friends and business associates and let them know that I’m still alive. I haven’t contacted anyone ‘normal’ apart from my brother since I was last admitted to hospital. Selfish, I know, but I needed that time away from the trials and tribulations of life for a while. Though I do feel guilty about it, I must take things one step at a time and make sure that, this time, I really do give myself the chance to get better.
The friend that I lent money to didn’t call me yesterday so I have no money for food until Friday. I have some tins in the cupboard and four slices of bread so, whilst not a lot of fun, I won’t starve.