7.30 a.m. The ex-wife has been on the phone.
My ex (Witchy Poo) is chasing me for non-existent money again. I don’t hate my ex; she had good reasons for kicking me out. Watching me fall asleep in a drunken stupor everyday cannot have been what she expected our marriage to become but she really has no idea of reality.
In days gone by, when I was still earning good money, she could make one of her ‘Miss Angry’ calls and I would move mountains to send her yet more money to dig her out of her latest hole. She still doesn’t seem to realise that the gravy train has dried up.
I know it can’t be easy for her but she has made her own decisions. She kicked me out and is now with her new partner. Her new man is a really nice guy but he simply doesn’t earn anywhere near the same sort of money that I did and, on top of that, she gave up work to have another child.
I know that she thinks that I’m being selfish and that I should get back to work but I am determined to get myself better this time. Before I came to the hostel I had a full blown mental breakdown as a result of which, I spent three months in a psychiatric hospital. Alcohol abuse for me started out as home grown medication for my depression and anxiety but, of course, alcohol only numbs these problems for a short while and then they come back again, even worst.
No. I’m going to stick with my psychiatrist’s advice; take it easy, one step at a time. I will not get myself in that mess again and end up back in hospital.