How can you have any self-respect when you have lost everything?
When your addiction to alcohol has stripped you of all your material possessions, most of your friends and, in some cases, your family as well, where do you begin to start over?
Well, the first thing that you can is thank your God, Your lucky star, your good luck charm or whatever else it is that you have left that is good that you are still alive.
Alcoholism not only strips you of your self-respect it also takes away any self-confidence. When so much has gone wrong you start to expect everything to go wrong.
Even though I have been sober for over six months now which, believe me, is an achievement to be proud of in itself, I still expect the worst outcome to every situation that I face.
But I am learning slowly that this is not necessarily the case. OK, I’ve made some pretty monumental cock-ups in my time, not least of which was becoming an alcoholic, but a mistake is only a bad mistake if you don’t learn from it.
My ex-wife, now ‘lovingly’ known as the Witchy Poo, once said something sensible for a change. In one of my very early bouts of depression, as I sat in tears on the side of the bed, she told me; nothing stays the same for ever.
She was right, though I doubt she expected things to change in quite the way they did. I won’t be in this hostel forever, I will see my kids again and one day, I’ll have a place of my own again. When you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s only one way left to go; up again.
I’ve started to take my writing a bit more seriously and published a number of articles, or Hubs, on Hub pages.
What started with a blog to pass the time and keep me out of pubs, has led to a small spark of optimism that I might be able to make money from my writing.
I can’t go back to ordinary employment at the moment so article writing seems like a good idea. I enjoy doing it, it keeps me busy and I can switch it on or off depending on my mood.
I even got a much needed boost to self-esteem yesterday. A post on Hub Pages that ticked all the boxes!
OK I know it’s only a computer generated message but hey, it made me feel good anyway.
When I first got out of hospital, I was quite content to sit on my arse and do nothing, which was fine for a while; it gave me time to recover. But now, writing has unleashed a whole new energy in me and I’m not just writing about alcoholism either.
Check out my latest articles:
Why not give it a go yourself?
It’s free to join and you can earn from your efforts too:
The great thing about writing is that it can remind you that you are not just a recovering alcoholic. You have experiences, skills and all sorts of information that you can share with others.
When I wrote my first Hub on Hub Pages, I wondered what on earth I could write about after that but now, I’ve got so many ideas in my head that’ll keep me going for months.
Hub Pages; a cure for alcoholism it is not but it’s a dammed good way to keep you occupied and build a bit of the old self-confidence back up again.