1. Never tell her to calm down
If ever there were words that will have the opposite effect of that intended it will be ‘calm down’ or ‘relax’. If she’s already lost her temper, then you aren’t going to change it with words like that. All it’s going to do is to infuriate her even more and make her think that you are not taking her seriously. You are going to have to let her have her say and then she will calm down, when she is good and ready to do so.
2. Never say ‘you’re acting like your mother’
Her rage contorted face, might be scarily reminiscent of her mothers, but don’t, whatever you do, tell her that! Whether her mother is the dearest person in the world to her, or the Wicked Witch of the West, you are not going to win any arguments this way.
3. Don’t make idle threats
Be careful not to say things that you will regret later and don’t make threats that you are not really prepared to see through. Even a few words shouted in an angry exchange will be remembered, stored away, and they will be used against you later.
4. Don’t try to use logic!
My apologies to any ladies reading this, but I can only talk from my own experience and, in my experience, when a woman gets really mad, logic is not always a winning argument. OK, so it is illogical for her to accuse you of cheating, when she has no evidence to support that accusation, but that’s not the point, apparently.
5. Don’t try and be a smart ass
Talking down to her, or belittling her, really isn't going to help, is it? It is hard to stay calm when you are facing a tirade, but, don’t be tempted to flippantly blame it on her hormones or some other such womanly ailment. Being a smart ass will get you nowhere and you will only raise the temperature of the argument even further.
6. Use a little empathy
You really do have to try and understand where she is coming from, even though this can be difficult when you’re busy dodging the assorted kitchen implements that are being thrown in your direction. Try using words like ‘I understand why you feel like that’ or ‘I can see why you would think that’, rather than just telling her she’s wrong.
7. Don’t resort to insults
Fight fair or you can only be the loser. When people are mad at each other and tempers have frayed, insults will only be met by further insults in return, and that’s how things can get out of hand.
8. Never resort to violence
On a more serious note, it should go without saying that things should never be allowed to get so bad that any violence is involved. I’m an old fashioned type so, while violence by either party is wrong, violence by a man against a woman is 100% out of order.
9. Call a time out
Sometimes, all that is needed is for you both to take a break and think things through on your own. Give it some time for tempers to calm and a little peace to be found and you might then be more able talk things through sensibly. Don’t, however, do the storming out the door thing, though, or the argument will be still waiting for you when you get back.
10. Say sorry!
Some arguments are not worth winning and it might be easier to back down and say you’re sorry. The only real ways for arguments to be brought to a close are through either a compromise or an apology. Fights in relationships will always happen, what matters most is that they are resolved, not who wins.