1. Be honest
OK, so you screwed up! At least have the courage to admit it. Women have an uncanny knack of spotting a lie, so you might as well come clean now, and save yourself a whole lot of pain and grief later.
2. Say sorry, and mean it
If you don’t really mean what you are saying, she will know. An insincere apology will only rub salt into the wound. There is no point in trying to win a losing battle, that’s not what this is about. If you did wrong, then, say sorry. You never know; she might even forgive you.
3. Look at things from her point of view
Stop and think! How would you feel if roles were reversed? Understand how much you have hurt her and explain that you realise what it is you have you done. That way, she will realise that you’re saying sorry is heartfelt and real.
4. Always say sorry, face to face
A text or an email isn’t going to solve this; you are going to have to face the issue and deal with it. The only way that can be done effectively is, face to face and when you are both alone. Public gestures are fine, but they don’t really convey the personal message that you need to get across.
5. Excuses don’t work
There is no point in saying ‘Ah, yeah, I only did it because…’ She will see straight through that and then believe that your apology is anything but sincere.
6. Listen to what she has to say too
Don’t forget that she will have something to say about this too, so listen and pay attention to what she has to say. She may well want to explain to you how much you have hurt her so listen, and try to understand her feelings. Women do sometimes get irate about things that men think are unimportant, but that doesn’t that it isn’t important to her.
7. Don’t try and pass the buck
Trying to transfer the blame onto her won’t work either. If you start off a tit-for-tat, blame game, then she is likely to win. Women are great at remembering past misdemeanours and storing them in their memory, for occasions just like this.
8. Explain why you did what you did
Try and explain why you did, whatever it was that you did. At least if she knows there is a reason for it, she might understand better why you hurt her. Remember though, it’s not an excuse that you need; it’s a valid reason, if there is one.
9. Right the wrong, if you can
Let’s be honest, some screw ups can’t be righted, but at least you can try and make amends. This where you get to the crawling stage! You’ve said you’re sorry so now’s the time tell her what you are going to do about it to put things right.
10. Give her time
Then you will need to give her time. Don’t expect that sorry will fix the problem straight away, it’s going to take more effort than that. If you really have hurt her then, of course, it will take time for her to forgive you. If you haven’t, she will probably still milk it for a while! You have no choice here, but to let time heal the wounds; it isn’t going to go away overnight.